Getting home

It is 6 in the morning California time. I actually woke up a few hours ago, but managed to doze for another couple hours. The journey here was long, but fortunately no lost bags or missed connections or forgotten boarding passes, or other such bad luck. Obviously the first stop on the way home was for Mexican food, paired with a cold Corona. We took a direct flight this time, so it actually wasn't too bad. I mean a super long flight is a super long flight, so there isn't much of a difference between 9 and 11 hours once you're on the plane. I realized that over the years I have acquired a few habits when moving through airports and sitting on planes:

1. I love going through the Duty Free shops and trying expensive hand creams I have no intention of buying.

2. Even though I worked there for five years, I seldom go to Starbucks...except when I'm in an airport. I must admit I was bummed when the London barista looked confused and shot a quick, "No," when I asked him if they have pumpkin spice. Wtf, tis the season dude, I mean chap...

3. The last few years I've noticed that international flights (depending on the airline) provide you with a personal screen filled with movies and TV series to keep you occupied during the long haul. I tend to watch cheesy romantic comedies that I would a) probably never admit to watching to most people and 2) probably wouldn't watch in any other context than a 11 hour plane ride.

4. I try to be nice and have patience with airport employees, even if they are yelling at me to remove my shoes and watch and telling me that my backpack must go in a container to be x-rayed (not simply left on the conveyor belt). If I've learned anything it's that if you want help, you won't get it by being rude.

5. The best place to sit on a long flight is the emergency exit row, if you can get it. This time, we were in the row that was right by the exit and had the toilets right in front of us so we had like a meter of leg room, could totally stretch out, it was excellent. Incidentally, there was some kind of tour group on the flight, I noticed lots of people in their older years boarding with these maroon duffle bags. I know it sounds mean, but I did get a laugh when 9 out of 10 old people couldn't figure out how to open the bathroom door and would awkwardly feel around the door without getting it to open. Even though there's a large "PUSH" sign, most people grabbed for the ash tray (PS what is with the ash trays below the signs that prohibit smoking?) even though they may have gone more than once or seen someone else open it.


6. Airplane food has come a long way. I can remember days where you'd receive a glorified TV dinner, but on the last few flights I've gone on the warm meal was downright tasty. I must admit I also enjoy how everything is individually packaged, the salt and pepper packets, the cutlery, the water in a little cup with a pull back lid, the bread, butter, salad and dressing. This meal even had chocolate caramel mousse! In addition to a warm meal, most long haul flights will also offer you a small snack a few hours before landing. Depending on the time of day, I've gotten a small breakfast with some fruit, juice and croissant or something. However since we were landing in the evening we got a lunch-ish snack pack, which as soon as I opened it I knew I wasn't going to eat it (pre-made sandwich and some muffin thing), I guess they can't all be winners.


7. British people know how to queue, something American airports could take a lesson from. We had a layover in Heathrow, so we were shuttled through security and customs before arriving at our gate. However, I must say the airport operates quite smoothly and there are often employees whose job it is simply to tell people where to queue, depending on the traffic flow they may send you to another station to alleviate congestion. This was not the case, however, coming into San Diego "international" airport. I don't think there is much international traffic going through there, so when a machine from Europe comes in we had to go through a control area, which perhaps they aren't used to managing. After meandering from the plane down a hallway, all 300 or so passengers were dumped into a single room with 4 stations for controlling passports (2 for US citizens, 2 for visitors), there was nobody directing people into any line, but rather just the workers who would periodically shout at the crowd to remind people of which lines were which. There weren't even ropes to show people where to line up, we just kind of had to form a haphazard snake that wrapped around the whole room. After the passport control was the special luggage room for international flights, which of course had to be x-rayed and controlled by a dog before we could exit. There was a two-way mirror where once in a while a voice would rudely yell at people who ignored the "No cell phones" signs "Hey you! Yeah, you! I can see you! Stop using your cell phone!"

8. Which brings me to my next point, people at airports are like cattle, or lemmings, or some animal that just kind of follows the group. You often feel disoriented in airports, it takes a minute to get your bearings, even if you've been in that particular airport before. It is funny if you take a minute to just observe, the mass of bodies ambling down a corridor resembles a bunch of cows in a huge way. To board the plane we had to take a bus to the machine, so everyone piled into a stretch bus with "San Diego" on the side. Most people weren't talking, just kind of standing there. When we got to the machine everyone's instinct was to pile out, but the driver yelled, "Wait!" and so we all did until we received instructions to proceed.

It was an adventure, but all in all a problem free journey. Now I can get down to the business of enjoying my vacation :-)